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Jill, I completely agree with you that there's a lot of debate around how "native"/"non-native speaker" can be problematic, and it's still perfectly common and acceptable in everyday usage in many contexts. It becomes a much more heated issue where people do take offense in certain contexts, such ...

Regarding non-native speaker, EFL, ESL etc, it's definitely a bit of an alphabet soup and the terminology is always changing. When I did my MA in teaching (keep in mind this was 10 years ago), the term in use was ESOL--teaching English to Speakers of Other Languages. EFL (English as Foreign Language) ...